The script so far:
-Guess what?
-What?
-I'm moving on up in the world I am
-Oh yeah? How'd you figure that?
-A little birdie told me
-Your not going to tell me who?
-I just did, A little bird told me, a sparrow I think he was
-Oh
-Pleasant fella
-So wait what did he tell you?
-He says he knows where theyre going.
-Who?
-The other chickens - you know, the one's who keep disappearing
-Who?
-The other chickens - you know, the one's who keep disappearing
-Really?
-Yeah
-So where'd they go?
-He said they got sent to work up at the pole tree
-The pole tree?
-yup
-Whats that?
-Really? you have no shame? all those feathers on your back and you don't know what a pole tree is?
-nope
-Neither do I (angelic music fades in) - My guess it's a sort of chicken haven where only the best can go and your only job when you get there is to pick a branch and bask in your brilliance. It will be truely beautiful
(record scratch sound)
-Well its either that or a tree full of polish people
-whatever it is I'm going there, if anyone deserves to be there its me
-yeah, me too
-Well I'm not sure you'll make the cut
-(angrily) And why on earth not?
-Because - how can I put this? - I'm not a regular chicken like yourself, I'm a free-range.
-What in farmers name is that?
-Honestly? As old as you are you don't know what a free-range chicken is?
-Do you?
-Nah but I do know two things: 1) they're important and b) I'm one
-Let me guess, a little birdie told you?
-A cow actually - nice lass - abit on the heavy side though - udderly
-yeah, me too
-Well I'm not sure you'll make the cut
-(angrily) And why on earth not?
-Because - how can I put this? - I'm not a regular chicken like yourself, I'm a free-range.
-What in farmers name is that?
-Honestly? As old as you are you don't know what a free-range chicken is?
-Do you?
-Nah but I do know two things: 1) they're important and b) I'm one
-Let me guess, a little birdie told you?
-A cow actually - nice lass - abit on the heavy side though - udderly
-I was thinking - Don't you think ‘free range’ means we’re free to roam around, we’re free to sit
here and chat and go about our business while all the hens are stuffed in the chicken coops – we’re a free range of
chicken
-That’s
the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard all morning - and I’ve just come from
talking to a goat!
-It was
just a thought
-*mimics*
Just a thought! The things you come up with.
-(looks
at floor/rubs back of neck)
-Next
you’ll be telling me the earth isn't flat or that multibillionaires with no prior experience in politics can run for president
-(raises
hand to correct him but refrains)
-Woah!
Farmer’s coming. Act normal
*Both chickens
stop moving and look straight*
*Farmer
picks up one of the chickens*
-I’m
going to the pole tree; I know it!
-Don’t
forget about me when you get there
I
always knew I was special
*next
scene you only see the chicken in a dimly lit room with the shadow of the
farmer spread across the chicken and floor*
-So
where do I check in?
*the
shadow wields two big knives and sharpens them*
-(gulp)
THE
END