'Chicken cottage'
-so whats new
-met this new bird on Tuesday
-oh really, what bird
-a new one
-no I mean what bird is she
-she's a new bird I just met -on Tuesday
-no I mean- never mind
--Someone below leaves food on bench--
-oop looks like someones left some subway scraps
-I hate subway - the wet lettuce always leaves the bread all soggy and gross
-I hear you on that mate - tell you what I do like though - Chicken cottage - yesterday I found a whole wing untouched - I was stuffed that whole day
-mate you do know Chicken cottage is pigeon meat right?
-you what?
-Chicken cottage uses pigeon meat mate, you were eating pigeon!
-no way
-yes way mate (chuckles) everyone knows that
-wait, so does that make me a cannibal then
-no a cannibals a human that eats a human - your a pigeon -you numpty
-oh good, so its alright to eat pigeon then
-no its not
-what about chicken
-well that depends on how you view 'em really - personally I don't eat what I can potentially date or have kids with
-can pigeons even have kids with chickens
-s'pose so, we're all birds aint we
-yeah I guess so
-you ever wondered what came first then
-how dyou mean
-the chicken or the egg
-oh definitely the egg
-why dyou say that
-cos like who was there to make the chicken
-whoever was there to make the egg
-yeah but like an egg hatches and grows into a chicken that has more eggs which turn into more chickens
-but who put the egg here in the first place
-well I dunno, it wasnt me
-apparently what happened was there was an enormous bunny thousands of years ago that died for our sins
-bloody 'ell -why'd he do that
-dunno but I heard he layed the first egg in the world to symbolize how much he loved us - thats why we celebrate easter
-ohh -so thats why people run around the park looking for eggs with faces on 'em
-yup
-mad init
-yup
-you never did tell me about the bird you were seeing
-oh yeah -so I met this new bird on Tuesday
-what bird -what bird is she
-ah she's a chicken.
THE END
"-apparently what happened was there was an enormous bunny thousands of years ago that died for our sins"
ReplyDeleteI 'laughed out loud' when I read this :)
I enjoyed this script - it's got a sense of 'Googlebox' about it. I'm just left wondering about the legalities of accusing a highstreet food chain of serving pigeon - especially if your animation were to go the festival route... I wonder if you could make up your own chain, that is obviously based on Chicken Cottage/KFC, but also 'isn't'?
Haha thanks Phil :) And yeah I was thinking that may be a problem but I thought it was better to try it and get told otherwise than not try at all, I'll think of something
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